OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm getting married
To pizza
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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