Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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