I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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