that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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