Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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