She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
