I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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