Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
