my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
