its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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