You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
