so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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