Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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