if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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