yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
