He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Your cock deserves a montage
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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