I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
