the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
