Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
