I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
