im holly from the hills drunk
Farmville is her only friend.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
