I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
