Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
