im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
