i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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