remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
