Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
