OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
