hell yes lets make some ravioli
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
