hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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