that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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