The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
