Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
