Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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