it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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