Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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