The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
