So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
