rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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