Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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