she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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