Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
