I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
