dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize