dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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