I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
