just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
