i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
