The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize