Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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