omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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