Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize