Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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