I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
