she woke up with a sticky ear
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
