whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
