look no pants
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
