I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize