I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
