First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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