what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
